Dreams and M&Ms

Hello all - I'm sticking with my consistently inconsistent blogging habits to post tidbits of my latest thoughts and ponderings. Please enjoy:

The Big M's

As a single lady, now in my mid-twenties, I've discovered the development of a possible fork in the road that might also be present in the lives of other young Christian women my age: Missions & Marriage.

I am not by any means expecting a freshly glittered and weighted left hand, however, I realize now it's not quite as far off as I once thought. Nor is the opportunity for a life of mission; a life devoted to being laid down and poured out for the sake of the gospel.

At first glance, one may easily assume the second M, that is Missions, is more glorious, more approved and praised by God. But upon looking deeper into the heart of each M they essentially are one in the same, though the practicals may be extremely different.

Bear with me as I process this a bit out loud...

Are we not to live our lives doing all we can for the Glory of God? 

(Col. 3:23) yes...we are.

So then, what is the difference in serving God by loving and serving your husband/family? 

Or serving God by serving and loving the lost?

Serving/loving your husband is less, practically, evangelical. I doubt going around shouting Romans 6:23 to your husband each day while drawing the bridge diagram on every free space in the house encourages love and affection, ha! 

However, do I not need to hear the gospel each day? To be reminded that I am sinner in need of much grace and forgiveness from the Father each day?

And my husband, equally a sinner, does he not then need to hear it too? 

Yes. 

So perhaps the evangelism occurring in the newlywed home is a bit more subtle, a bit more gentle, and a bit more spoken unto the self so as to serve and love one another more faithfully and genuinely. For how else is one to seek to love unconditionally but to be loved unconditionally, accepting His grace and forgiveness with new mercies each day, each moment.

This aspect of Gospel living, in my mind, seems slower, deeper, and more steady.

The other M, Missions, obviously, at first thought seems adventurous,exciting, pioneer-like. Being on the front lines of anything, it seems, means the highs are so high and the lows are so low; the risks are much more risky but the rewards so much more rewarding. It seems there might be more to lose as a single woman serving in missions, in any capacity - Overseas, Stateside, Part-time, Full-time, volunteer, what have you. Your 'husband' is the Lord and your children? Well, you are a spiritual mother. Your children are not your own biologically per-say. Your time is spent for the spiritual nurturing of those around you and, yes, the self-gospel preaching still happens, but the outward gospel preaching seems like it would be more frequent as it would be your 'job'. But do you really have more to lose? Perhaps I'm thinking it seems like there is more to sacrifice? But is it really more of a sacrifice? I know plenty of mothers faithfully serving God by serving their husbands who sacrifice a TON!

Personally...I know nothing of being married, nor much about being in a serious relationship. And I'm certainly not an expert in ministry, ha! However, from what I do know and understand of both I think I would like for the two M's to mesh. I would like for them to be intertwined and mingled in together, becoming and growing harder to separate and distinguish as time goes on. I would like to know the slower steadiness of learning grace through a marriage to a godly man who loves and serves the lost; and me, his helpmate serving right alongside of him - encouraging, assisting, serving, loving and eventually/hopefully/maybe rearing children in the ways of the Lord to follow after their father...

Currently, I believe these are sweet dreams and hopes to lay at the feet of Jesus who holds all things together.

Any and all thoughts on this will be greatly appreciated as well as a joy to read and discuss! =)